Lists of Nine with Keyword "misc." (most recent at top)

We don’t use the Metric system

Nine Ways in Which the US Is Different from the Rest of the Western World

Recently I was having a discussion with a friend and told him that I felt that, out of all the countries in the world, only two can be called truly unique: One is Japan. The other is the United States of America. And while one might say that Japan is not dissimilar to Korea and the US is kind of… read more!

Guyliner

Nine Portmanteaus for Men Who Do Traditionally Female Things

A few years back, the term "metrosexual" entered the English language. It was what we call a portmanteau, a word that mashes together two different words to form something in between a compound word and a pun. (Brunch, jewfro and infomercial are all portmanteaus.) "Metrosexual" itself referred to a straight man with an interest in girly things like skin care,… read more!

“A Touch of Rheumatism”, Charles Spencelayh

Nine Outdated Medical and Psychological Terms

My wife and I were recently discussing once-common words that have since fallen out of fashion. For instance, in the 1960s everybody referred to marijuana as "grass". No longer. Today it's called a million things, but never grass. Similarly, nobody seems to call a condom a "rubber" anymore. Of course this is just street slang, and most slang changes by… read more!

Es la verdad

Nine Ways in Which Spanish Is Better Than English

This week I finally finished up my Spanish classes after two years and four months. I feel like I've learned all I can for now, even though there is still clearly much more to learn. (In other words, I'm nowhere near fluent, but I'm pretty well-versed for a tourist.) Learning a language makes me think about English, too, and how strange,… read more!

20th Century Fox, outdated since 2000

Nine Outdated Corporate Names

First of all, I'm sorry that I've been slacking off on the lists. It's been a combination of not having enough time, due to a plethora of freelance work, and not having enough complete lists to include (though I have many works-in-progress). This list, in fact, could probably stand a bit more research, and if any of you have some… read more!

No kids, no meat, no vacations

Nine Unpopular Things You Can Do to Save the Planet

True, Earth Day was last month - but every day is Earth Day, right? Since green is the new black, I present to you my suggestions for what you can do to save our suffering planet from total environmental destruction. Why is this list different from the others? Because whereas most mainstream tips are all about sounding hip (organic gardening,… read more!

Broke? Wear a barrel

Nine Common Cliches That We Got from Cartoons

This year I got to witness two famous cliches in real life: I saw the blind leading the blind (two blind Mexican musicians walking down the street, one leading the other) and I got to see somebody rolling out the red carpet (workers preparing Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Hollywood for a premiere). Stuff like this made me think about all… read more!

Yo Mama

Nine Art History “Yo Mama” Jokes

Many say that the origins of modern-day rap music lie in the inner city practice known as "signifying," wherein two young friends or rivals spar by hurling hilarious, often vulgar insults at each other - usually involving crude remarks about somebody's mother. These quickly became known as "Yo Mama" jokes. Now, there is probably only a very slim overlap between… read more!

Leonard Nimoy (left) in Mission: Impossible

Nine Odd Connections between Star Trek and Mission: Impossible

The topicality of this list is vague at best, though it does look forward to the future a little bit (see entry #3, below) and also has to do with my former place of employment (see entry #2). Born in 1966. Both TV series debuted in this watershed year, when color TV was still new. I Love Lucy? Both shows… read more!

Moonlighting: “Atomic Shakespeare”

Nine “Experimental” Episodes of Famous TV Shows

You may have heard of the term "very special episode" - it's when a TV series gets serious and breaks from its normal light-hearted tone to handle a controversial issue (suicide, drug abuse, kidnapping, etc.). Sitcoms like Diff'rent Strokes practically aired nothing but "very special episodes" after a while. But that's not what I'm talking about here. No, this list… read more!

Silhouette

Nine Common Words Named After French People

I had hoped to post this list on some relevant date like Bastille Day, but I missed that. And France didn't win the World Cup this year either. So this is a truly random list that I'm putting up for no good reason, other than that I was recently thinking of eponyms – words named after individuals (e.g., mesmerize, shrapnel) – and… read more!

Valet parking

Nine Things That Should Be Eradicated from Existence

Believe it or not, this list took a long time to compile. What truly deserves to be wiped off the face of the planet? I don't mean "When people are mean!" or "War!" or (insert random politician's name here). I mean actual, physical constructs that we could, in fact, easily remove. It's not a simple question to answer - if… read more!

A Kaplutian

The Nine Dreams of Bobby Brady

This list isn't entirely meant as a joke. Truth is, I've been a fan of The Brady Bunch ever since I was a kid, subjected to at least three episodes a day on San Francisco's KBHK, channel 44. I can safely say I've seen every single episode of this charming - if insipid - sitcom at least five times apiece.… read more!

A bad clown

Nine Bad Clown Names

Folks, it's not so much that I'm running out of ideas, it's just that I have a lot of unfinished lists that I'm still trying to fill out. In the meantime, I hope you find this list of unlikely, unfortunate, and entirely fictional clown names amusing. It may be the only time you laugh at a clown all year. "Pinchy".… read more!

One of the stupidest movie taglines ever

Nine Unfinished Lists of 9

You might think that every two weeks or so, I sit down in front of my computer and simply start writing a new List of 9 off the top of my head. Not true! I often find inspiration for a list quite randomly. One or two entries for the list usually come to mind quickly, but rarely all nine at… read more!

Guest columnist Scott Spears

Nine Things Producers With No Money Tell You to Get You to Shoot Their Fabulous Short for Free

The talented and often hilarious Scott Spears, the cinematographer for my first feature Foreign Correspondents, came over to my house one afternoon and started rattling off all the various lines low-budget producers have fed him when trying to get him to shoot their short films for no pay. He hit it so right on the nose that I asked him… read more!

Typhoid Mary Mallon

Nine Weird Emails I Received Regarding “Typhoid Mary”

For a long time I've entertained the idea of doing a movie about the infamous "Typhoid" Mary Mallon. Lucky me, when I looked for the domain name typhoidmary.com, I found it unregistered. So I snagged it. Thus began several years of my having to put up with a sometimes friendly, sometimes angry public, particularly students writing term papers on Mallon… read more!

Roll up your clothes when packing

Nine Nerdy Tips for Improving Your Life

I dedicate this to my father, who turns 66 today, for he has given me nerdy self-improvement tips much like these ever since I was a kid. (The only one I really retained was "wash your hands after using the bathroom".) I've since come across various little household tips throughout my nearly 34 years, some of which I have found… read more!

Jim Morrison?

The Nine Goofiest Drawings of Jim Morrison on the Web

I took Art throughout high school, and one thing I noticed, year after year, was that there would always be some goober - male or female - who would draw a portrait of The Doors' Jim Morrison as one of their class assignments. A couple of months ago, while I was searching for a photo of Morrison online, I quickly… read more!

Nine Great Joel Schumacher Films

Nine Lists of 9 I Will Never Write

This list should be self-explanatory. Nine Great Joel Schumacher Films Nine "Frogger" Tips Nine Gay Celebrities Still in the Closet Nine Ways to Entertain Yourself With a Couple of Toothpicks and a Piece of Tape Nine Great Mustards Nine of My Filthiest Sexual Fantasies Nine Little-Known Facts About the '80s Band Night Ranger Nine Photos of Infected Feet Nine Asses