I took Art throughout high school, and one thing I noticed, year after year, was that there would always be some goober - male or female - who would draw a portrait of The Doors' Jim Morrison as one of their class assignments. A couple of months ago, while I was searching for a photo of Morrison online, I quickly discovered what happened to all those drawings: More than 30 years after his death, the Internet has become a treasure trove of tacky Morrison portraits, many of them fairly well-crafted (essentially traced photos of the preening young narcissist, often with psychedelic colors swirling about) but some of them so hilariously bad that I just had to showcase them here for your amusement. The singer's death at 27 saved the world from watching him grow bald and fat; however, it did not save us from this:
- Portrait of Jim #1. An artiste in France starts us off with this humble image of Morrison on a bad hair day, with Shannen Doherty-like eyes. Jim looks very sleepy.
- Portrait of Jim #2. This Hungarian artist envisions the Lizard King as a petulant, 8-year-old girl. Or perhaps an elf.
- Portrait of Jim #3. Jim starts nodding off again in what appears to be a rough sketch made of him while he was watching television.
- Portrait of Jim #4. Mr. Mojo Risin' - from the grave! This artist is perhaps imagining Morrison in a Night of the Living Dead remake. Don't let him eat your brain!
- Portrait of Jim #5. Here Jim seems to be turning into some sort of bird.
- Portrait of Jim #6. Another variation on the same photograph, the drugs seem to be kicking in as Morrison's face melts into a cartoonish pucker, half of his hair blowing off into the wind while the other half forms a vaguely Farrah Fawcett-esque wave.
- Portrait of Jim #7. This artist made damn sure that nobody was gonna steal his art off the Web without his name - and copyright! - included. Fine by me. Here Jim, in his famous Christ pose, looks like he was either slugged in the face with a bag of rocks or is getting over the mumps.
- Portrait of Jim #8. A very confused airbrush artist seems to have mixed up his rock and roll icons. Or am I the only one who thinks this is Elvis Presley in a Morrison wig? Not to mention the widest neck in the world. (Note the seams: this was painted onto a denim jacket.)
- Portrait of Jim #9. Finally, I leave you with this unique stereogram of Morrison, two drawings that, if you stare at it and cross your eyes, form a 3D image of what looks more like Chevy Chase with a mop on his head.
