Nine Unfinished Lists of 9

One of the stupidest movie taglines ever

You might think that every two weeks or so, I sit down in front of my computer and simply start writing a new List of 9 off the top of my head. Not true! I often find inspiration for a list quite randomly. One or two entries for the list usually come to mind quickly, but rarely all nine at once, so I jot down what I can, adding more entries whenever I can think of them. Sometimes it takes months, but once I have a full list, I type it out and post it to the site. Well, lots of times I have a decent idea for a list but can never come up with a full nine entries, for various reasons. I decided to clean out my closet before leaving on vacation, so here you go.

  1. 2 of the 9 Stupidest Movie Taglines Ever: ""He stole the money... and he's not giving it back." from Kangaroo Jack; "What kind of freakazoid would let someone hunt him just to collect $50,000? Next question." from The Pest. Yes, really: freakazoid.
  2. 3 of 9 Celebrities With a Strabismus: Marty Feldman; Jack Elam; Thom Yorke from Radiohead.
  3. 3 of 9 Ridiculous Things That My Old Roommate Insisted Were True: That the Marx Brothers were actually born with the names Groucho, Chico, Harpo, etc.; that the Roy Orbison (and later Nazareth) song "Love Hurts" is actually "Love Burns"; that Catherine O'Hara, who played Macaulay Culkin's mother in Home Alone, really was Macaulay Culkin's mother.
  4. 5 of 9 Cities I Don't Care to Visit Again: Manchester, England; Bakersfield, California; Osaka, Japan; Tijuana, Mexico; Anchorage, Alaska.
  5. 6 of 9 More Forgotten First Features by Major Filmmakers: Jim Jarmusch's Permanent Vacation; Gus Van Sant's Mala Noche; Tom Tykwer's Deadly Maria; Bryan Singer's Public Access; Oliver Stone's The Hand; Lasse Hallström's ABBA: The Movie. (Note: This was a sequel to an earlier list.)
  6. 4 of 9 Outdated Oscar Categories: Original Song Score (ended in 1984 with Purple Rain); Original Music or Comedy Score (briefly included from 1995 to 1998); Art Direction, black & white (ended in 1966 with Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf); Cinematography, black & white (ended in 1966 with same).
  7. 5 of the 9 Most Tiresome Modern Vocations: Referring to the trendy little careers people are creating for themselves nowadays, I had Turntable DJ; Massage Therapist; Event Planner; Life Coach; Independent Filmmaker (ha ha).
  8. 5 of 9 Things That Make America Better Than Other Western Nations: We don't drink as much; we don't smoke as much; we're more generous; we drive much better; we have more public drinking fountains.
  9. 5 of 9 Things That Everybody Says They Are Not: Hollywood; Racist; Desirous of fame or fortune; Bitter; Lying.