The Nine Dreams of Bobby Brady

A Kaplutian

This list isn't entirely meant as a joke. Truth is, I've been a fan of The Brady Bunch ever since I was a kid, subjected to at least three episodes a day on San Francisco's KBHK, channel 44. I can safely say I've seen every single episode of this charming - if insipid - sitcom at least five times apiece. (What a waste of a good childhood.) And it was over The Brady Bunch that my wife Miki and I first bonded. So in one of our many wandering conversations about television trivia, the question "How many dream sequences did [chronic nocturnal fantasist] Bobby Brady actually have?" The answer, interpreted loosely, is nine.

  1. JOE NAMATH. (Episode 97, "Mail Order Hero") At the beginning of this episode, Bobby has a vivid dream in which he is playing football with his hero, Joe Namath. He leaps 20 feet in the air to catch Namath's pass. (Later on, thanks to his sister Cindy's act of deception, he winds up playing with Namath for real.)
  2. POOL SHARK. (Episode 114, "The Hustler") Bobby likes his family's new pool table so much that he dreams about becoming the greatest pool player in the world.
  3. JESSE JAMES. (Episode 87, "Bobby's Hero") After writing an essay about how cool legendary outlaw Jesse James was, Bobby has a nightmare about James murdering all the Bradys aboard a train. Easily the darkest Brady Bunch episode ever.
  4. PLAYING BASEBALL. (Episode 46, "The Winner") In this episode, Bobby's sad because he's the only Brady kid without a trophy. So he has a series of dreams in which he's winning all kinds of things. It kicks off with him hitting a home run for the Los Angeles Dodgers.
  5. SKI JUMPING. (Episode 46, "The Winner") The second in this extended dream sequence, where Bobby flies high and scores Olympic gold.
  6. SPEEDBOAT RACING. (Episode 46, "The Winner") The final dream in this episode. There's been some confusion over whether Bobby was racing a car or a boat, but I have it on good authority that it was a boat.
  7. KAPLUTIANS. (Episode 110, "Out of This World") Arguably the most famous Brady Bunch dream sequence, here Bobby meets two little silver-suited aliens called "Kaplutians" after believing, in waking life, brother Greg's practical joke that a UFO has been visiting the Brady household.
  8. MILLICENT. (Episode 99, "Never Too Young") This is where the "interpreted loosely" comes in, as this time Bobby has a daydream - inspired by Romeo & Juliet - about running in a field and embracing a girl named Millicent, who had recently kissed him in real life.
  9. A DREAM/FLASHBACK MARATHON. I was really bummed that I couldn't name a ninth dream from The Brady Bunch, but Wendy Winans, a woman who knows everything there is to know about this fictional family, assured me that in the short-lived '80s series The Bradys, a now-adult Bobby, lying in the hospital after a car crash (he's become a race car driver!), dreams about numerous events from his childhood (i.e. the original Brady Bunch episodes) as well as re-living the crash. Even though I've never seen this show, I'll take Wendy's word for it.